The Writer's Funk

                So I have been in a bit of a funk these past couple of weeks. The kind of funk that every writer knows. The kind of funk which makes you hate every single thing your mind comes up with and every single thing your mind has ever come up with. Maybe you have one thing you are excited to get to in your story, but to get there you have to write the most excruciatingly boring plot anyone has ever spit out. Like writer's block except all consuming.

                Novels die in the funk's wake.

                Seriously, the last time I was in a funk I thought there was something physically wrong with my brain.

                I'm trying my hardest to survive this funk without abandoning my current project, erasing my hard drive, and setting fire to my computer. So far I've been successful. I've also been successful at procrastinating at writing even though I have free time for the first time in weeks. Another symptom of the funk.

                 To keep from deleting the 34 measly pages I have written in the past two months, I'm trying to focus on the elements I like about my novel. The little parts that might actually survive past the first draft. Writers are a lot better off looking at the things they like rather than the bottomless holes where their creativity goes to die.

P.S. Don't tell me that "funk" isn't a real word.

Funk:

                1. a strong offensive smell

                2. a depressed state of mind

I think that pretty accurately describes what I'm talking about here.

Tumblr Pick of the Week

...I say as if this is a regular segment on this blog. ANYWAY, I saw this on Tumblr and found it to be very helpful advice on writing romance.

You can find it here on Confessions of an Opinionated Book Geek.

Black Friday Book Haul

So I generally avoid Black Friday because crowds make me anxious and stampeding crowds make me SUPER anxious, but I had a coupon to Half-Priced Books and I figured nothing too crazy could be going on in a used bookstore at 9 am. There I bought Carolyn Mackler's Tangled (read my Vegan Virgin Valentine review to see how obsessed I am with her) and Flawed by Kate Arelyn, which I had heard nothing about but had an interesting blurb.

Afterwards, I went to Barnes & Noble to get a copy of Divergent because the trailer sucked me in (also, I had a giftcard.) I ended up buying Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell because Tumblr is in love with it. All together, I spent about $15.00 of my own money and got four books. You can be expecting reviews of a few of these books soon.

P.S. I saw Catching Fire. It was unbelivably amazing. Go see it now. Go.

A Writer on Thanksgiving

                If you're like me, you hate telling people what your book is about while you're still in the first drafts, making Thanksgiving a minefield of well-intentioned relatives. Maybe it's because your book sounds too dark just by the synopsis (this is my problem, since I have never written a book where someone isn't dead, missing, and/or crying in the first couple of pages). Or maybe it's not of a subject that you really want to be discussing with grandma over turkey. The truth is that many of us (especially with Nanowrimo coming to a close) are in a stage where our plot could change (and hopefully will) any day now and are not ready to make any promises. So here are some ideas of vague topics to tell your extended family this Thanksgiving.*

1. "It's a coming of age story"

2. "Your classic boy-meets-girl story with a twist"

3. "It's the anti-[insert popular young adult series here]"

4. Or, if you are feeling particularly confident, "It's the next [insert popular young adult series here]"

5. Use some literary-sounding term like "post-modern" or "stream of conscience"

6. Along those lines, "Well, it's really more of a character study"

7. "It's a book that all takes place in one day/month/year"

8. "Have you ever read [insert obscure novel here]? Oh, it's not going to make sense if you haven't read [insert obscure novel here]."**

                And ta-da! Your great-aunt is moving onto your cousin's high school batting average and you are free from any awkward explanations.

*If you ever say any of these to an agent or someone who actually matters in your literary career, I will personally hit you upside the head with the biggest, heaviest book I can find.

**Options include The Metamorphosis, The Catcher in the Rye, Hamlet, or any book your uncle hasn't read in the 40 years since high school.

How to Finish NaNoWriMo (with as little crying as possible)

We are already halfway through November! Thanksgiving is just around the corner, but more importantly, so is the Nanowrimo deadline. Since I've won three times, I thought I would offer some advice on how to crawl, claw, and drag your way into the winner's circle.

1. Now is not the time to fall behind.

I know weekends are a Nanowrimo procrastinator's best friend. But that is a luxury you are quickly losing, with only two Saturdays and one Sunday left in November. Shove aside all possible responsibilities to keep up with your word count even on the dreaded weeknights.

2. You don't have to wrap up your plot in 50,000 words.

Winning Nanowrimo is all about the word count. So don't rack your brain trying to figure out how to string together every plot hole in the 16,660 words you have left (because you're totally caught up, right?) Ending your story after 50,000 words should be part of the post-November edit. You know, after you go into creative hibernation for the next four weeks.

3. Here's what to do if you finish your plot in under 50,000 words.

This happened to me my second time doing Nanowrimo. I find stretching out your ending is difficult and time consuming, so it's better to go back and add somewhere in your story. I went for a character-development focused flashback. It can be placed nearly anywhere in the story and is less complicated than an entire new subplot. Or maybe you want to add a new subplot, just remember tip #2 and stop after 50,000 words.

4. If at all possible, finish early.

For a non-techie person like me, the submission process is a nightmare the first time around. It literally brought me to tears (I was fifteen, but still.) Finishing early offers you the breathing room to know that you won't lose because you can't figure out Microsoft word or your computer dies or any number of non-writing related problems. Plus, you get to lord over all the other participants who are scrambling to finish on November 30. It's a delicious feeling, my friends.

5. I believe in you.

But not as much as you should believe in you. You've come this far and you're almost there. There are few greater feelings in November than seeing your word count bar turn green and holding your winner's certificate hot off the printer. Hold on to those images and get that 50,000.

Birthday Post

     It's my birthday today! I'm officially an adult! Too bad I'm not into gambling or smoking. All I did for my birthday was go to work and memorize my Latin and Greek roots. Wooooooo.

     But one nice birthday story:

     My grandma never had much money in her life. She was a teacher in a time when women were not expected (or allowed) to have a career if they had kids. For much of her adult life, her family lived off of only my grandpa's income. So she was forty when she had enough money to buy one pair of tiny diamond earrings for herself. She bought my mom a pair of her own when she turned eighteen, so she "wouldn't have to wait until she was forty." 

This morning, my mom gave me a little grey box containing a pair of diamond earrings.

P.S. My other birthday present was finding out that my friend looks a lot like this cover of Madame Bovary:

My #1 Nanowrimo Advice: Free Yourself from the Cycle of Deleting

                I'm not doing Nanowrimo this year, but like a nutritionist snacking on curly fries between appointments, I'm going to give those of you who are some advice.

Don't ever delete. Ever.*

                You know what you do. You're typing along and suddenly an imperfection in your previous paragraph catches your eye, like a tiny pimple on an adolescence's face. Then you rewrite one or two sentences and it's still not right. Suddenly you're highlighting the entire paragraph and *click* it's gone forever.

                This is a bad idea for first drafts because, well, all first drafts are one big zit. But it's an especially bad idea for Nanowrimo when every deleted word sets you farther back from your goal. If you're not careful, you could get caught in an endless cycle of typing and deleting, until you're so frustrated that you give up on Nanowrimo all together.

                So breathe. Accept that your writing is a blemish now but you have so much time to fix it. This time is for pure, messy, ugly, wonderful writing. Free yourself from the cycle of deleting.

*Small grammatical and spelling changes are fine. Otherwise you might obsess over them. Just draw the line at fixing a misused or misspelled word or two, not rewriting an entire sentence because it doesn't sound right.

This Is Halloween

      I started off my Halloween the scariest way imaginable, by getting sick and disregarding my responsibilities to stay in bed all day (candy corn is good for upset stomachs right?). So if you are spending a lazy Halloween like me, here are some creative ways to get your spook on:

1. Night Vale Radio

The internet is already obsessed with this, but if you haven't already listened to Welcome to Night Vale, download the podcasts now on iTunes. They are the most unique, hilarious form of media floating around right now and totally worth the zero dollars you have to pay to listen. The genius of these podcasts, beyond the voice acting, the music, and the writing, is hard to describe.

Check out the Night Vale twitter. It's the most amazing thing that will ever appear in your feed.

2. Welcome to Write Vale

No official association to Welcome to Night Vale, but along the same theme of making ordinary writing tips terrifying. Take a peek if you want a guilty laugh or if you're looking for prompt to write horror.

Also the admin of the blog seems a little concerned about the popularity of his or her posts about murder and violence. It's good when they have a conscience.

3. Surf through Figment's Horror tag

Uncensored gore and new writers. What's not to love?

P.S. The sequel to my Halloween horror is the six page essay I have to write tonight. Ooooo scary.

P.S.S. I now have a proper, writing/book themed tumblr.